May 10, 2021
Trigger Warning: death, grief
The blog you're about to read talks about death and grief.
My grandmother died a few weeks ago. It caught me off guard, but whenever someone is existing and then they just stop it should throw everyone off their guard. At first, I cried, which is a very natural reaction for someone that is used to cry. That’s how I usually process my emotions, actually.
If I’m really happy, I will cry, if I’m scared, I will cry. It’s almost my default state if I was a robot. So naturally, I cried. And then I sat by myself for a few hours, marinating in my thoughts. It was when I started watching that I began thinking about Club Revoluton from the previous week. I started thinking about how to reminisce and writing about the memories of partying and going out made me feel happy.
So, then I stood up, and sat at my chair and I briefly thought about one of the writing exercises James had given us. With the TV on in the background, I started writing, and it felt truly cathartic to just remember and write the words down. My keyboard became a vehicle for my thoughts, and a transport for a place in my mind in which I didn’t feel heavy anymore.
This week’s blog is not so much about the actual session, but more so about the things that I was reminded of. Club Revoluton reminded me that through writing I can rearrange my mind and find peace in my thoughts.